{"id":2140,"date":"2016-03-02T16:13:40","date_gmt":"2016-03-02T14:13:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sergiumotreanu.ro\/?p=2140"},"modified":"2016-03-02T16:13:40","modified_gmt":"2016-03-02T14:13:40","slug":"sexul-la-cinema","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/?p=2140","title":{"rendered":"Sexul la cinema"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebe lumea de unde am ideile ciudate\u00a0pe care le reg\u0103si\u021bi \u00een articolele pilduitoare de pe acest blog; blog\u00a0unic de altfel\u00a0\u00een peisajul carpatin de curbur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>De exemplu, pentru articolul de azi ideea mi-a venit uit\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la un dialog dintre Al Bundy \u0219i o femeie gras\u0103. Uite c\u0103 am zis-o, \u00eenc\u0103lc\u00e2nd legile\u00a0nerostite \u0219i ipocrite ale bunei cre\u0219teri: femeie gras\u0103, b\u0103rbat de culoare neagr\u0103, \u021bigan rom\u00e2n.<\/p>\n<p>Fat, sorry, large\u00a0lady, a real person: <strong>\u201dI need shoes.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Al Bundy, a fictional character and a shoe salesman: <strong>\u201dThe blacksmith&#8217;s right around the corner.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Un p\u0103rinte ortodox din parohia\u00a0Trei Movile, care apar\u021binea\u00a0confesional \u0219i administrativ\u00a0de comuna \u0218cheia, care la r\u00e2ndul ei apar\u021bine confesional dar nu \u0219i administrativ de municipiul Suceava, se duce s\u0103 se spovedeasc\u0103 la m\u0103re\u021bul Pimen Zainea, jup\u00e2nul eparhiei bucovinene, cunoscut oficial sub denumirea de \u00cenaltPreaSfin\u021bitul Pimen, Arhiepiscop al Sucevei \u0219i R\u0103d\u0103u\u021bilor.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Spune, fiule, ce ai pe suflet? Cu ce ai p\u0103c\u0103tuit?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Nici nu \u0219tiu cum s\u0103 v\u0103 spun, Prea Luminate Doamne; vede\u021bi, eu sunt preot de la \u021bar\u0103, cu frica lui Dumnezeu, nu prea am ie\u0219it la ora\u0219 s\u0103 v\u0103d minun\u0103\u021biile civiliza\u021biei. V\u0103 rog s\u0103 nu m\u0103 excomunica\u021bi.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Las\u0103, las\u0103, s\u0103 trecem peste asta&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ei bine, ieri am fost cu preoteasa mea la un film la Iulius Mall, \u0219ti\u021bi dumneavoastr\u0103, chiar vis-a-vis de bazar. Filmul con\u021binea ni\u0219te scene ceva mai fierbin\u021bi.\u00a0Ea\u00a0era \u00eembr\u0103cat\u0103\u00a0foarte provocator. \u00cen sal\u0103 era cald \u0219i \u00eentuneric. Eram \u00een ultimul r\u00e2nd. Ne-am excitat am\u00e2ndoi foarte tare. S-a ridicat de pe scaunul ei \u0219i s-a a\u0219ezat deasupra mea. I-am smuls hainele \u0219i am \u00eenceput s\u0103 facem sex \u00een ritmul coloanei sonore, una\u00a0de excep\u021bie, a\u0219 putea concluziona.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Mda, este un lucru destul de neobi\u0219nuit, \u00eens\u0103 acesta nu e un motiv pentru excomunicare.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Deci nu m\u0103 ve\u021bi da afar\u0103 din biseric\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Nicidecum, fiule.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ce bine, c\u0103 din cinema \u0219i din mall ne-au dat afar\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Ha ha ha. Apreciez mereu un enoria\u0219 cu sim\u021bul umorului, dar mai ales sincer. Iar ceea ce mi-ai povestit tu acum este \u00eentocmai ceea ce s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Dar de unde \u0219ti\u021bi, Sfin\u021bia Voastr\u0103?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Cum s\u0103 nu \u0219tiu, fiule? Doar am fost informator la Securitate \u0219i am colaborat \u0219i cu Direc\u021bia Informa\u021bii Externe pe vremea comunismului. Numele meu de cod era Sidorovici, dar acum mi se spune doar Petru.<\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Sf\u00e2ntul Petru? &#8230;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>\u0218i uite a\u0219a s-a scris una din pove\u0219tile securistului deschis la minte care p\u0103store\u0219te, c\u00e2rmuie\u0219te \u0219i \u00eendrum\u0103 prela\u021bii \u0219i enoria\u0219ii bucovineni \u00eentru sfin\u021benie \u0219i securitate. Doamne ajut\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>I know, I have a twisted mind. Forgive me, Sidorovici.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_2141\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-2141\" style=\"width: 481px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"http:\/\/sergiumotreanu.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/CinemaSex.png\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-2141\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2141\" src=\"http:\/\/sergiumotreanu.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/CinemaSex.png\" alt=\"andrewthepilgrim.tumblr.com\" width=\"481\" height=\"273\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/CinemaSex.png 481w, https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/03\/CinemaSex-300x170.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 481px) 100vw, 481px\" \/><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-2141\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">andrewthepilgrim.tumblr.com<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A \u00eenceput s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentrebe lumea de unde am ideile ciudate\u00a0pe care le reg\u0103si\u021bi \u00een articolele pilduitoare de pe acest blog; blog\u00a0unic de altfel\u00a0\u00een peisajul carpatin de curbur\u0103. De exemplu, pentru articolul de azi ideea mi-a venit uit\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 la un dialog dintre Al Bundy \u0219i o femeie gras\u0103. Uite c\u0103 am zis-o, \u00eenc\u0103lc\u00e2nd legile\u00a0nerostite \u0219i [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[267,458,591,1278,1580,2016,2081,2320,2376,2385,2531],"class_list":["post-2140","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-right","tag-arhiepiscop-al-sucevei-si-radautilor","tag-bucovina","tag-cinema","tag-inaltpreasfintitul-pimen","tag-mall","tag-pimen","tag-preot","tag-scheia","tag-sex","tag-sfantul-petru","tag-suceava"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2140","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2140"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2140\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2140"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2140"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2140"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}