{"id":968,"date":"2014-03-10T18:47:26","date_gmt":"2014-03-10T16:47:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sergiumotreanu.wordpress.com\/?p=968"},"modified":"2014-03-10T18:47:26","modified_gmt":"2014-03-10T16:47:26","slug":"chuck-norris-was-born-next-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/?p=968","title":{"rendered":"Chuck Norris was born next year"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Probabil c\u0103 a\u021bi auzit foarte multe glume cu <b>Chuck Norris<\/b> \u00een rolul de erou fabulos, magistral, terifiant sau incredibil &#8230; de absurd.<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 nu le \u0219ti\u021bi, re\u021beta este foarte simpl\u0103: te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti la ceva imposibil, ira\u021bional, imoral, incendiar, infinit, iar <b>Chuck Norris<\/b> va sparge toate barierele \u0219i va face posibile toate utopiile.<\/p>\n<p><b>1. Pentru c\u0103 noi tr\u0103im \u00een imagina\u021bia sa, iar dac\u0103 nu v-a\u021bi dat \u00eenc\u0103 seama de asta, v\u0103 sf\u0103tuiesc s\u0103 ie\u0219i\u021bi din matrice.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>2. El este singura persoan\u0103 care poate s\u0103 rescrie istoria viitorului din trecut. <\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>3. Tot el poate s\u0103 str\u00e2ng\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2na sa puternic\u0103 o asimptot\u0103 \u0219i axa aferent\u0103, f\u0103c\u00e2ndu-le astfel s\u0103 se ating\u0103.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>4. P\u0103m\u00e2ntul se \u00eenv\u00e2rte datorit\u0103 imensei lui for\u021be de atrac\u021bie.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>5. Spune cele mai frumoase pove\u0219ti despre propria lui sinucidere.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>6. L-am v\u0103zut \u00eentr-o noapte cu lun\u0103 plin\u0103 aseleniz\u00e2nd pe soare.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>7. Iar de acolo a ajuns pe p\u0103m\u00e2nt cu un submarin zbur\u0103tor.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>8. Poate c\u00e2\u0219tiga un trofeu \u0219i dac\u0103 joac\u0103 la Arsenal.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>9. Chiar ieri a fost v\u0103zut termin\u00e2nd World of Warcraft.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>10. \u0218i s-a n\u0103scut pe el \u00eensu\u0219i \u00een aceast\u0103 perioad\u0103 a anului cu un scop precis: este singurul b\u0103rbat care poate s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 femeile.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Iar dac\u0103 nu a\u021bi r\u00e2s la glumele astea cu maestrul Chuck Norris, ar fi bine s\u0103 \u00eencepe\u021bi acum, altfel nu voi mai avea nici o vizit\u0103 pe blog.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>Pentru c\u0103 Chuck Norris \u0219tie unde locui\u021bi. Iar el nu uit\u0103 \u0219i nu va uita niciodat\u0103 aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie. Pentru a fi \u0219i mai exact, el \u0219tie absolut toate informa\u021biile cuprinse \u00een bibliotecile \u0219i sistemele de calcul din \u00eentreaga lume.<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>\u0218i pentru c\u0103 nu \u021bin deloc la via\u021ba mea, i-am aflat adresa de mail: yahoo.gmail.hotmail@chuck.norris.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><b>Mai jos, v<\/b><b>\u0103 prezint singura lupt\u0103 \u00een care Chuck Norris a fost \u00eenvins. <\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>Dup\u0103 ce a c\u00e2\u0219tigat, Bruce Lee a murit. =))))))))<\/b><\/p>\n<div class=\"jetpack-video-wrapper\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Famous Badass fight! Bruce Lee vs Chuk Norris  ( Enter the Dragon) ( HD )\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/Isnu0wtZHGc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Probabil c\u0103 a\u021bi auzit foarte multe glume cu Chuck Norris \u00een rolul de erou fabulos, magistral, terifiant sau incredibil &#8230; de absurd. Dac\u0103 nu le \u0219ti\u021bi, re\u021beta este foarte simpl\u0103: te g\u00e2nde\u0219ti la ceva imposibil, ira\u021bional, imoral, incendiar, infinit, iar Chuck Norris va sparge toate barierele \u0219i va face posibile toate utopiile. 1. Pentru c\u0103 [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[18],"tags":[110,280,346,452,587,997,1018,1148,1285,1558,1568,1575,2434,2593,2713,2809,2834],"class_list":["post-968","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-funny-right","tag-absurd","tag-arsenal","tag-barbati","tag-bruce-lee","tag-chuck-norris","tag-facts","tag-femei","tag-glume","tag-incredibil","tag-luna","tag-magistral","tag-mail","tag-soare","tag-terifiant","tag-umor","tag-warcraft","tag-world-of-warcraft"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=968"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/968\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=968"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=968"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.sergiumotreanu.ro\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=968"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}